Why hello reader….so i’ve decided on a overly wordy post on how trying to be a fit and healthy person is really messing with my ability to blog about food. I’ve been actively working with a trainer since like May-ish with quite decent results actually…my pulse rate is very low! One thing I have never been called, and I been called many things….is skinny. While I don’t think “skinny” will ever be my M.O. I have realised that fattitude can majorly affect your life, as well as define you. Being female is a drag in that way anyway, trust me if there is one thing I have always known its that I was never skinny enough….the first time I remember being called “Fat” was at my 8th birthday and from that point on in school it never really changed, I wasn’t the prom queen, I was the “Class Clown”. I guess to a degree it has always been part of my persona….like a characterture, a way to fit into some elses filter of who I was. But since i’ve had my son and gone through some family stress i’ve realised…maybe that isn’t who I am? It’s like taking off layers of protection in a way to lose weight, as those who would normally file you out as invisible due to fatness start to notice you. There is a vain side to it….a great motivator vanity is…yeah peeps look better without excess fat..Darwin…survival of the fittest shit. Fitness is hard, so now when I see a babe wearing a small amount of clothes and struttin around, I don’t hate, I congratulate, cuz its hard to be fit! Toughest thing i’ve ever tried to do honestly, you are sore most the time, you have to record what you eat, you have to lift heavy stuff over your head and do squats and push ups! I’ve always been half-assed athletic, so I kinda like it…and good thing because I get up at 5am to do it! With this of course is rethinking food intake and what is appropriate portion wise….it’s not anywhere near as much as you are hoping, unless you have a ferrets metabolism which a small minority do have…not me. So honestly it does affect my cooking endeavors…I eat a lot of the same stuff and most of it isn’t very photogenic. I don’t think I will feel this way permanently and hopefully it will just make me more creative, but in the meantime hang in there…or don’t….but I will be doing some random posting on my fitness journey as I think it will force me to be made accountable. Yeehaw!